Annalee Evelyn,

I can’t even begin to comprehend that our baby girl is thirteen. When did you grow up on me?

After having two boys I couldn’t even imagine having a daughter. I was skeptical, and asked them each time they would do an ultrasound to be “sure” you were still a girl. I was afraid to name you, buy anything for a nursery, or purchase anything frilly until I held you in my arms, because I didnt want to get my hopes up for a daughter, for the opportunity to raise a girl to be better than I was. You are our Loulou, our Loulee, our Bunny, and as the boys lovingly referred to you, our Cece. Just as I had suspected, you made your entrance and captivated everyone around you from the moment you were born.

But here you are, today as a thirteeen year old young woman. With all of the sass and mood swings I could’ve ever hoped for. Everyone tells you, “You look just like your mother”, and “Y’all are twins” and I always jokingly rebuttle with “attitude and all”. But I want you to know Annalee, you are so much more than my “mini-me”. You are your own person, with your own dreams and goals and aspirations. And I always pray you will be better than I EVER was.

I watched you in the bathroom the other day, using my curling iron (of course), spending endless amount of time getting your hair perfect, and I couldn’t help but think about the days when I would set you on the bathroom counter and blowdry your hair, and ever-so-gently get the rats nests out of your hair that you somehow ALWAYS managed to wake up with. The days of me doing your hair are behind us, and you are no longer asking me to help you put on chapstick (makeup), but instead you are now telling ME what concealer is, and how I need it to hide the bags under my eyes. You are now the one with the makeup bag, and the stealer of all my bathroom vanity accessories. I blinked, and you grew up.

Annalee, today on your 13th birthday, your dad and I want you to know that first and foremost, we love you more than you will ever comprehend. We give you a hard time, because we see how remarkable and special you are, and the amazing young woman you have the potential to become if you so choose.

It goes without saying, but You are beautiful. You havent even tapped in to just how gorgeous you are, because you havent decided to love yourself yet. But the moment you stop caring about what the rest of the world thinks of you, and you see yourself the way God does, and how your dad and I do.. You will see just how radiant you truly are and your outward beauty will be secondary to the kind, compassionate, and intelligent young woman that you are.

I pray you dont sacrafice your values for temporary worldly/boy approval. Its always fleeting, and many all of those sacrafices cost far more than you bargained for. Trust me. In a world of social media, EVERY MESSAGE Heard/seen/read/and insinuated is trying to beat you down, tear you apart, and make you believe you are lessthan. That you arent worthy of peace. of joy. Of happiness.

BUT YOU ARE. YOU ARE WORTHY.

Always remember, your dad and I are your biggest cheerleaders. Just like at your tennis matches, We will be there on the sidelines with the gatorade, when you are thirty for wisdom, with the cool towel when you are exhausted and worn, with the chair, if you need a safe place to sit and rest. We are here to offer words of encouragement, and harsh reminders of when you are being foolish, but always with the intent to make you better. We will always be your biggest fans and loudest critics. For better. For worse. As you begin this next phase, we promise to give you room to find your way, but guidlines to keep you safe.

Our prayer for you in these next seven years, is that you find yourself. that you find WHO ANNALEE EVELYN is. That she is someone that you can be proud of, and confident in. That you become certain of your worth and value, and truly come to understand none of that lies in what you see in the mirror, or in what social media tells you that it is.

We pray you develop a close walk with the LOrd, and arent ashamed to be the girl He created you to be.

We pray you continue to be kind to everyone, and choose to be friends with people that push you to be the best version of yourself and people that you in turn do the same.

Tell the truth. Its much eaiser to sleep at night when you dont have to remember your lies. Be honest with others, and with yourself.

We pray you move forward with respect to your future and make decisions that reflect the woman you hope to be. Be grateful for what you have and say thank you. Be careful what you put in writing, because you will never be able to take it back, and on that note: be careful what you post online. It will affect your future college, jobs, friendships, marriage, and children. The internet and social media are permanent. Remember that.

Lastly, remember you are NOT my mini-me. You are Annalee. You are so much more than I could dream of. You are destined for greatness, and will be EXCEPTIONAL. I PROMISE.

We love you fiercely, and more than you could ever imagine,

Mommy & Dad

A Past.

Everyone has one. Good. Bad. or Indifferent.

I am not the person I was at 18, at 24, or even 30. That girl is gone.

Some days its even hard for me to close my eyes and remember who she was.

How she felt.

How she processed life.

It’s hard to relate to some of her behaviors and actions and choices.

Its hard to reconcile her with the woman I am today.

Because Im not her.

The hardest part of having a past, is people knowing it. Whether it directly affected them or not.

Some people will choose, in their own weakness, to shame you for the person you once were.

But I hope today, you remember:

The past they are shaming you with; that isn’t your home. That isn’t who you are. That doesn’t define the person you have become.

You don’t have to live or accept someone else’s narrative of your own life.

You don’t have to feel continued shame after forgiveness.

After progress.

After putting in the work to learn and understand your past.

There is beauty in grace.